Sick and tired

I've been lax in posting & unlike some I won't apologize for not posting (like my two readers would care). Nonetheless, I'm on one ugly slide and the bankroll has been crying like a kindergarten class that woke up early from naptime.

I just cannot win.

It's an impossibility at the moment. Suckouts, bad beats, coinflips, splitpots, one-outers, you name it. I'll bet it's that infamous "cashout curse" I've heard so much about. (I kid I kid)
I'm starting to think that the play of sooo many of these aquarium swimmers has warped my brain. This morning while on PP I'm dealt A-A and give it an average pre-flop raise (the way things have been running I'm scared to slow-play anything).

One caller, flop is K-3-7 rainbow.
I bet half of the pot, called instantly. (here I'm expecting A-K or K-Q)
turn is J, I bet a pot sized bet, called instantly. (right her I'm expecting a set)
River Q. I say screw it, if he's hit the set I'll pay it off, called instantly.

He flips Q-Q, calling everything I threw at him with an over on the BOARD.
How the hell are you supposed to combat that?

It's not like this has been a once in a while occurrence, it's every friggin day. Are the players getting worse and being rewarded for it? It's absolutely unreal.

Fast forward to FT later that same morning. I hopped on a 6-handed 2/4 game.
Dealt Q-Q, raise it, get called by the BB. Flop is Q-3-5 rainbow.
He bets out, I raise, he reraises.
Turn J, he bets out, I raise, he reraises.
River 7 he bets out, I raise, he reraises.
He flips 4-6 for the straight.
How the hell are you supposed to combat that?

It's starting to feel like I'm playing at a table of Gus Hansens after they have finished off a case of Ho-Ho's and chased it down with a 12 pack of Mt Dew. WTF? Do these guys sit down and smoke a huge rock of crack while watching Gus highlight films and decide to cozy up next to me at the digital felt? Who plays that crap and why do they all seem to be sitting at my table? Remember the good ol days when people would actually fold?

To steal a few lines from some better know bloggers...... Sweet Jebus I hope you get kicked in the junk and may your micropenis shrivel up and fall off as a result of nut cancer.

Ahh there I said it and now I feel much better. Thanks for the virtual shoulder to cry on.

save me a seat at the final table

Do as I say.......

School's in session listen up and take your seats. You in the back! I said take a seat!
(Damn kids) OK everyone pay attention, get out your notepad and a sharp number 2 pencil this IS something worth taking notes on.

Ever get sooo into a groove with your online play that it's like everyone's cards are face up? This is a slight exaggeration, but while they are runnin good, well they're runnin good. You get a feel for everyone's online play and immediately can draw a bead on your opponents (well as much as you can in online play). From the middle of February till about the third week in March. I could not make a wrong move (well this is exaggerated a bit as well, but holy hell was I hot). I went on a tear and doubled, tripled, quadrupled, even septupled my buy-ins on almost every session. Ahh those were the days of wine & roses. Capping off a great run with, a nice score in a PP 20MTT.
That's exactly when a voice came over the intercom and said, "Uwannabet to the principal's office, Mr Uwannabet please come to the principal's office."

That's definitely when the fun stopped.
Some (or most) of you all might be a little more advanced or refined as a player than I but I'll continue nonetheless. It took me a few weeks, to wise up and realize that I am the exact same player that just went on a good run and have finally come back to earth (with slightly lighter pockets).

I let the run of cards influence what starters I played & how I played them. Which is not all bad, when you're hitting everything... but disastrous when your missing your draws & not hitting those flops. The bottom line in this incoherent, mismash of poorly formed thoughts is no matter if you are on a great run, or you can't even hit bottom pair. You must keep in perspective that good cards, played aggressively win money. Quite profound huh? I could have saved a lot of space and a lot of your time with one sentence, but where's the fun in that?
Ringriiinnnggg class is over.

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And now for a little randomness.

Mr. Shulman take all that bullshit "Card Player Classics" section out of your mag, the tournament circuit schedules and maybe I'll pony up the dough and renew, OK? Until then don't even bother asking. A classic from not even a year ago, puuleeze.
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The I want to link exchange emails from random, often foreign webmasters....go to hell. Better yet I imagine your hell as sitting strapped into a chair having to listen to your own email script read aloud by roseanne barr, as she dances around you nude, with the soft background music of her singing the national anthem ringing in your ears.
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It's beginning to be a chore to read all the damn posts that show up, will you guys/girls slow down a little? It's like a friggin job trying to keep up. (a job that you like is that possible?)

save me a seat at the final table

Poker ADD, Hotel Tycoon, Email, WPBT, and Damn it's cold

I just placed third in a WSOP sub-qualifier, with the brutal, let me repeat BRUTAL, beats I've been suffering over the last week. I consider it a small moral victory. Have I been playing a different game? nope. Have I been playing at a different level? nope. Have I had my A-A cracked 12 times in the last week alone, yep.
(the best was by 2-9os in heads up play for a full buy-in, Oh yeah Mr. 2-9os hit a flush, WITH THE 2, ugh).

You may be asking your self, "Self how did Uwannabet? Place third in a sub-qualifier with such cold cards?" By simply folding, it was like playing poker with 9 ADD riddled, soaked to the gills with sugar, 10 year olds that just found out that Mom forgot to buy decaffeinated soda. I played one hand the entire tourney, 5-5 on the button with 3 of us left, I pushed the remaining 300 or so chips in just to be called down by both players (4-9os) & (A-Qos). Mr A-Q hit a Q on the river.
Ta-Da third.
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Dear Webmaster,
We have a hotel site for Europe that has a high Page Rank for our directory/links pagesI suggest you link exchange that will be mutually beneficial. If you are interested please contact me and I will give you all the relevant details.If we got the wrong person please pass this on to your webmaster so he can deal with our request.
(Damn how did they find me? no one, absolutely no one knows I'm a hotel tycoon)
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Ever send yourself a "reminder email" from your work email to your personal email?Then later that evening you sign on and you get a little excited thinking wow that's a lot of emails & find out that 3 of the 13 are from you, one exposing me as a hotel tycoon,5 are spam, 2 from your mom, and the last 2 are from Full Tilt.(kinda sad)
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WPBT I finished 70 something (BOOOO), I just couldn't get into a groove. Plus believe it or not (with all the playing I've been doing lately, I'm getting a little burnt) I wasn't really in the mood to play (gasp). I might take a few days off from the digital felt and aww screw that...I'll see you at the tables.
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It's cold in here....
So yesterday I played in a live tourney at a local school (they run 2 tournaments a year to raise funds for the school). It's a great set up the buy-in is 200 (no re-buys, thank god), they slate the field to be 300 and top payout is 10,000. It's run very well, with your entry you get free food, free beer, soft drinks etc.

The tourney started at noon, and right off the bat I could tell by the parking lot there was no way the field was going to be 300. After signing in, getting my chips and table assignment I went over to one of the volunteer workers and asked about how many they were expecting. I was answered with"we should have about 100." After talking with him for a few minutes I find out that there is no less than three other fund raising/charity type tournaments being run on the same day. Cut that juicy prize money down by 2/3rds, but it's a fun tourney.

I've played in two previous events that this school has hosted and the typical field of players run the complete gamut, total novice to really skilled. It's fairly easy to spot the low end of the totem pole at the table and punish them from the start. The blinds start off at 5/10 (you start with 400) and the blinds don't change for two hours. A good time to amass chips when the play is less than stellar.

I saw no two playable cards for 2 hours and 45 minutes, during that time I saw an unraised flop from the BB 3 times, and everytime an overcard, or two was present. Others at the table were reeling of full houses, straights, trips like plucking apples from the low branches. It was possibly the most frustrating two hours and forty-five minutes ever.

I played one hand to the showdown K-Qos from the BB vs SB, flop was K-6-6. He checked I bet 25, he called (not what I'd hoped). He bet 25, I raised to 100 (hoping to find out if I was in deep doodoo or if it looked to be a split pot). He called (ugh). He checked the river as did I and flipped over 6-2os. He wasn't looking to trap either this guy really did not grasp the fact if he checked & I checked there was no more betting.

I finished around 60something having won 0 pots, no blinds, no small pots, ZERO pots.

save me a seat at the table that has a deck with face cards